Painiac

After much awaited anticipation (about 3 1/2 years to be a tad precise, but who needs precision anyway?) I’ve excitedly and nervously looked at the shard of light beaming through the end of my back pain tunnel. 

Surgery count down was at T-minus 11 days and counting, when I awoke this morning. 

Fast forward a few hours, past the cup of mint tea, past the part where I almost broke my wheelchair (wait that part was funny, stop there, (I sat in my wheelchair and the seating came apart from the backing…I fell through and  was rolled up like a gimpy taco… it was great) ok, keep fast forwarding… past the trip w/ Kacey to run errands…. OK stop there. 

When I was at the post office today, mailing all my Etsy sales ( I sold 8 hair pieces, thanks to some friends and their savvy marketing skills abroad) , I got a phone call form my Doctor’s receptionist. In her southern drawl ( an accent and sugary-sweet-n-slow speed that I used to savor, but now have grown to dislike, especially when this lady called with bad news and took eons to get out) she explained to me that my surgery needs to be rescheduled, postponed, cancelled, whatever. Well, she actually opened with something like this: “Hi, you’re not here are you?” What does that mean? Am I there? As in, have I flown across the country for my three surgeries yet?? Well, no, I have not, but I am planning my current life around it,yes, yes I am! 

I say What? She says Why. “The Doctor must leave the country for a week, He’s needed in Germany for a training, and turns out it’s the exact week you are due for surgery, isn’t that uncanny?”  GERMANY???? OK, lady. [INSERT uncomfortable pause, followed by a string of not so sugary sweet words framed in a  not-so-nice sounding tone]. 

I said I’d have to call her back. 

I called my dad. Repeat of : [INSERT uncomfortable pause, followed by a string of not so sugary sweet words framed in a  not-so-nice sounding tone]. 

I called her back. This time, I let her know that although I was very upset and disappointed at how much this is inconviencing me, my family and my pain, I will have to reschedule. 

Now, the only time I can get my little gimpy bum into this Surgery Clinic is in… 6 days.  My other option was to wait until April, which is difficult when you’re in pain. A few weeks can seem like an agonizing few months, and I just don’t want to sign up for that! Also, if I take more time off from school than I already had planned, I don’t think I’ll be any better shape, mentally… I need this break and I need the time to recuperate. Plus, the sooner I get fixed, and pain-free-ish, the sooner I can start back to working and making some sort of income, however measly it may be.  

That may seem like no big thang, I get to push my surgery up, yay for not waiting! But, I also have to change all my flights (with lots of $$ fees for cancellations, I’m asking for a waiver… but that only helped a little), change the hotel reservations, rental car, etc. 

And, I was really visualizing the March 22nd date. It’s like I was attached to it, as if I was ready on that day, not any other. Well, that will have to change. 

I was really upset at first, and felt like the healthcare system just really doesn’t cut you a break. (I still uphold this belief, firmly.) BUT. I also know that the key to healing is really to focus on the positive. 

So…That’s what I’m doing. 

Now, if I could just muster up the courage to break it to Harley… 

hugs, 

me.