a blog of a twenty-something's journey with chronic pain...life...and...laughter
Welcome to my Blog, I hope you find some resonation here. Living with pain is a constant battle and it doesn't only hurt those suffering with the pain but those around us.
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Other blogable topics: healthcare, therapy, meditation, relaxation techniques, exercise, nutrition, acupuncture, chiropractic care, wellness... and an assortment of comic relief, and a smattering of warm fuzzies.
I was reading a great article today on the National Pain Foundation website.
The article addresses the stressors and tensions in relationships and how they’re significantly increased and more frequent for those in a relationship with a partner in pain. If I could share anything from my experience it would be this: Remember, those in pain are in constant, consistent, and persistent pain. Can you imagine if you, yourself, were in severe pain daily, minute, second by second? How you would handle the ups and downs of a typical day? Would you be your ‘best self’? Not likely.
I’ve learned, from personal experience, that living with pain and living in a relationship does not mesh well. Sometimes, you are unable to be the positive and upbeat person you are (in my case) when in pain.
Everything is harder when in pain. Bottom Line.
The Main Emotions We Feel:
1. Isolation- feeling cut off, feeling like you’re the only one you know who is in pain
2. Being a Burden- people have to take care of me, I can’t do that anymore w/o help
3. Depression- ocurrs in almost all patients suffering from chronic pain
4. Sense of Failure- losing your independence, fighting to not give up
5. Learning Proper ways to Communicate about your Pain- is it all in my head? How to describe and discuss your pain
6. Accepting that your friends/partner/family can’t feel the pain
What I really liked to hear is that we need to give ourselves permission to be upset, and give ourselves the space to be happy and ‘forget’ about the pain.
From the Article,
Chronic pain often brings about a change in the nature of our relationships with the people we are closest with. Our loved ones are distressed by our suffering and may not know what to say or do to help us. We’re no longer available to help as much as we used to be. We may isolate ourselves from others – especially during flare-ups. Chronic pain can make us grumpy and frustrated, causing us to lash out at those we love.
It’s not always easy to be the bearer of the burden of your pain. Your partner may feel overwhelmed and frustrated. So be aware of your loved one’s needs and clarify what you expect of them. Open, honest communication will help keep your relationships healthy and intact. If you’ve tried everything you can and still have trouble with your relationships, don’t be afraid to ask for professional counseling.
